Will she really say goodbye?

February 7, 2010 at 2:39 pm (Uncategorized)

Hi Everyone,

So, this year I am going to focus more on my goals.  I took a wonderful workshop with Roxanne St. Claire and she helped me understand that you can’t set down goals that are out of your control.  For instance, when you write out your goals, you can’t say “I’m going to get published.”  THat is something that is beyond your control.  You can write down things like “I will submit to two contests” or “I’m going to finish writing a book” or  “I’m going to submit to three publishers.”  Those are all things that lead to the ultimate goal of getting published.  Basically, when you write down your goal list it should be a road map that leads you to your ultimate destination.  Another example would be don’t say “I want to lose thirty pounds” say “I will work out three times a week and stay on a low calorie diet.” 

So, in thinking about this, I was wondering what are some of your goals????

Excerpt 15B

Mallory was sitting Indian-style as she listened to her headphones when her father burst through the door.  She pulled them from her ears, her eyes meeting his.  

“Come with me,” he said firmly, holding the door open.

            She slowly got to her feet, her eyebrows crowding together.  “Where are we going?” she asked.

            His look of frustration as he crossed his arms over his chest silenced her momentarily.  “It seems that that boy got into a fight with Derrick last night,” he informed.

            “Jackson?”

            Nodding his head, a grim line formed on his lips.  “He’s in a holding cell right now.”

            Her eyes widened.  “He’s in jail?”

            Glancing at her, his eyes narrowed.  “Have you forgotten that Derrick is only seventeen?  Hart, on the other hand, is of legal age.  He could have some pretty serious charges leveled against him for that.”
            Her heart leapt into her throat. 

Jackson

In jail? 

“That’s where you come in,” her father explained.

            “Where I come in?” she repeated, clearly confused.

            He motioned with his head for her to follow him.  Once she was seated next to him in the car, he continued.  “Once and for all, you are going to make that boy understand that it is over between the two of you.”

            “How?”

            He pinned her with a steely glare.  “That’s for you to figure out, daughter,” he commanded.  “You got yourself into this mess.  It’s time you got yourself back out.  I’m not going to have that boy making more of a spectacle than he already has.”

            Her heart seemed to be beating at double time.  “And if I can’t convince him, then what?” she dared.

            His hands gripped the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles white from the pressure.  “If you don’t, then that boy can rot in jail for all I care,” he replied ominously.

            Unable to look at him, she turned in her seat to stare out the window.  He had turned them all into pawns in a sadistic game.  A single tear drifted down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away.  She didn’t want Jackson to go to jail.  The thought of him sitting in a jail cell made her heart ache.  There had to be a way to get him out of this mess.

All too quickly, her father was parking the car and leading her inside.  He walked over to a balding man in a uniform, taking his hand and giving it a firm shake. 

“Thanks for keeping him here, Bill,” her father said quickly.

            The other man nodded his head, an understanding smile forming on his lips.  “No problem at all, Mr. Westfall.”

            “Where is he?” her father asked.

            The other man motioned to the back with his head.  “He’s back there in the holding cell.”

            Her father glanced her way, lowering his voice.  “Would it be okay if my daughter spoke to him for a minute?”

The other man stared at her for a moment, before turning to look at her father.  “I don’t see why not,” he replied. 

            As the other man led the way, her father grabbed her arm.  “I better like what I hear.  You’re holding that boy’s future in your hands.  I sure as hell hope you make the right decision.”

            The other man motioned to the door.  Taking a deep breath, she spared one final glance at her father before curling her fingers on the handle to push the door open.  When she spotted him, her heart seemed to break into a million pieces.  He held his head in his hands, his elbows propped on his knees. 

He looked alone.

Deserted. 

Defeated.

And it was all her fault. 

If she had never started this, he wouldn’t be here right now.  But she hadn’t thought about the consequences.  All she had thought of was how much she wanted to be with him.   

And now he was paying for her mistakes.     

His head came up.  She winced at the bruises already forming on his face.  One of his eyes was already turning black.  His look of surprise was almost her undoing.    

            “Hello, Jackson,” she said, her voice barely audible.  She cleared her throat in an effort to disguise the pain she felt.

            “What the hell are you doing here?  I didn’t call anyone,” he murmured, his brows furrowing together.

            Taking a deep breath, she tried to find a strength that she wasn’t sure she possessed.  “I heard about what happened.”

            “Did Derrick tell you?” he scoffed.

            “It doesn’t matter how I found out.  What matters is that this has to stop.”

            “Afraid loverboy might get hurt?”

            “I’m afraid for both of you,” she admitted.

            “That’s sweet,” he said condescendingly, his lips forming a grim line.        

            After a minute, he continued.  “He told me that you agreed to marry him.”

            Her head snapped up, her eyes meeting his for a moment before looking away.   Damn Derrick.  Damn him and his lying.  She never agreed to marry him.  Still, his lie had done the damage intended. 

            “Did you?” he demanded.   

            Her eyes met his, and she realized that giving him this lie was the only way to save him. 

“Yes,” she lied.

            He squared his shoulders, his pupils almost black with rage.  “And what about what you promised me?”

            The vein on his forehead began to beat double-time and his hands gripped the bars so tightly that she feared he might actually bend them. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

            “You’re sorry?”  He shook his head, letting it fall between his shoulders.  “Well, I guess that makes it all better, doesn’t it?”

           

At her silence, he lifted his head to pin her with a steely glare.  “Did you mean any of it?” 

His stare was so intense that she felt sure he would see through her facade.  Closing her eyes on a wave of pain, she half turned away, unable to bear the look in his eyes. 

“I thought I did,” she answered, trying to keep her voice even.

            “And, now you don’t?” he scoffed.

            Her fingers curled into her palm so tightly she was sure that if she looked down she would find blood.  “I’m sorry,” she offered, as she started to walk away.

            “It’s all about the money, isn’t it?” he bit out.

            “What?”

            A quick glance over her shoulder revealed a cruel smile twisting on his lips.

            He nodded.  “I didn’t want to believe it, but it’s true.  All you care about is the money.  That’s why you said yes to Derrick, isn’t it?  He has a better bank account in his future than I do, right?”

            The carefully disguised pain in his eyes drove a nail into her already-bruised heart.  Still, with her father on the other side of the door, she had no choice but to drive the lie home.  Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. 

She couldn’t. 

Not in front of him. 

“You’re right.  I’m sorry, Jackson.  I thought I could go through with it, but I can’t.  It would never work.  I’m used to having more than you could give me.”

           The stricken look on his face let her know that her goal had been accomplished.  Her heart felt like it had been ripped in two.  Half still beat in her chest, while the other was collapsing behind the bars.  She turned to make her way across the room, her hand on the door handle.

           “One day I’ll have enough money to buy and sell you and your precious Derrick,” he warned ominously.

           Mallory didn’t look back for fear she would collapse. 

            She hoped to God that he was right. 

            In fact, she was counting on it.

Stay tuned for more of Choices…

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