Could you say goodbye to your one true love?

December 13, 2008 at 3:32 pm (Uncategorized)

Hi Everyone,

I’m sure, like me, you are all gearing up for the holidays.  It has been a hard year for everyone, I think.  Hopefully, 2009 will  bring wonderful surprises.

Now, let’s get back to Lake of Lies.  In the last excerpt, Samantha said “no” to the only man she’s ever really loved.

But will she be able to let him go for the second time?

Excerpt 15

He winced at her words.   He had known that she didn’t want to be with him, let alone marry him, but hearing the words come out of her mouth seemed to drive the stake just a little bit further.  He used the only ammunition he had.

“If we don’t get married, what are you going to do?  How will you support yourself and a baby?” 

She turned away, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes.  She knew that he was right.  She knew that he was offering her the only solution that would work, but she still didn’t want to accept it.  She didn’t want a marriage of convenience.  She wanted him to want her, she wanted him to want to marry her.  She didn’t want him to feel like he had no other choice.  “I’ll find a way,” she replied vehemently. 

“How?” 

Her eyes searched the room frantically trying to find a solution that would appease him.   “Think about it.  I’ll call you tomorrow,” he offered, getting up and walking to the door. 

She followed after him barely seeing the steps in front of her.  At the door, he turned to place a gentle kiss on her lips.  “It’s the only way, Sam.” 

With that, he was gone leaving her alone to try to make sense of her muddled thoughts.  Circumstances raced through her mind.  She didn’t have the money to raise her baby alone.  If she married Nick, she knew that he would take care of her.  She would be able to stay home with her child. She thought of the baby she so desperately wanted.  Her baby needed a father.  And, whether she liked it or not, she needed him. 

Nick gripped the steering wheel as he drove to Derek’s apartment.  He had been fuming since Derek told him the truth.  He had barely been able to restrain himself from putting his fist through the wall.  Why hadn’t she told him?  Did she really hate him that much? 

He opened the door to Derek’s apartment using the spare key.  He wasn’t exactly thrilled to be staying with his brother, but it was better than a hotel.  He threw the keys on the counter closing the door behind him.  Derek sat on the couch, his arms stretched out on the back as he watched ESPN. 

“How did it go?” he inquired, his feet resting on the coffee table.

“It went,” he replied noncommittally.

“That good, huh?”

He sighed heavily.  She would come around.  She had to.  Even if she didn’t want to be with him, she had to see the logic behind his proposed arrangement.  He wasn’t the type of man who could be a father from afar.  He wanted to be a part of his child’s daily life, and he wasn’t about to let her rob him of that right. 

“Was she angry?”

“About what?” he asked, his brows furrowing together in confusion. 

“Was she angry that I told you?”

Nick walked over to take a seat next to him on the couch.  “Does it matter?” he challenged.

Derek stared at him for a moment, before turning back to face the television.  “I guess not.  You had a right to know.”

He snorted.  “She should have told me herself.”

Derek nodded his head in agreement.  “You know, Samantha.  I think she was just in shock,” he explained, ready at her defense.

Nick rolled his eyes.  “Tell me about it.”

“So, what now?”

That seemed to be the question of the day.  What now?  He had no idea.  If she didn’t agree…She would.  She had to.  “We wait for Samantha to make the right decision,” he offered solemnly.

Derek’s eyebrows rose.  “And if she doesn’t?”

“Then, I’ll just have to make it for her.”

 

Samantha sat curled up on the couch, her feet tucked underneath her.  It had been a full day since Nick had arrived and thrown down his ultimatum.  The day had gone by in a blur.  She could think of nothing else.  Finally, after several mistakes at work, she had decided that coming home was the prudent choice. 

Her fingers trailed over the pages of the book of baby names, but all the while she thought of her child’s future.  Marrying Nick solved so many problems.  She would be able to provide the kind of life for her child that she had always dreamed.  And, despite what he thought, she didn’t want to keep the baby from him.  She would never do that to him.  Deep down she knew that there was only one answer that she could give him that was unselfish…to say yes.  If she said no to his bargain, she would be doing it to protect herself from the pain of knowing that he didn’t truly want her. 

The next day when he called, she gravely accepted his bargain.  His parents were elated with the news.  Margaret went into overdrive in planning a quick and intimate wedding for the two of them.  Samantha felt numb.  In all of the times she had thought of planning her dream wedding, she had never expected to feel so detached.  When Margaret asked if she wanted to be involved, she hedged.  She would not make preparations for this sham of a wedding.  It was a lie…pretending to be the happy couple, and she wanted no part of it. 

After a week of discussion, she finally allowed Nick to stay at her apartment until ceremony.  At first, she worried that he would take advantage of the situation, but instead he made a pallet on the couch for himself.  She should have been happy that he wasn’t expecting anything, but she couldn’t deny that a part of her was angry.  Did he find her unattractive now?  Did he no longer desire her?  A part of her wanted to confront him, but she didn’t…she couldn’t.  She wasn’t about to invite him into her bed if he didn’t want her, even if they were about to be married.

Finally, the week of the wedding arrived.  Her stomach was tied in knots as they drove to stay at his parents’ house for the ceremony.  Panic raced up her spine at the thought of seeing them again.  How would they feel about her now that she was pregnant with their son’s child?  Especially when it was a different son?  The thought made her stomach turn.  They probably hated her, and they had every right.  After all, her present condition confirmed her duplicity. 

As soon as they pulled up into the driveway, Margaret rushed out to the car beaming.  She opened the door hesitantly getting out of the car.  As soon as she was out, Margaret pulled her into a warm hug.  “Oh, I’m so happy for the two of you,” she exclaimed. 

Nick got out of the car grabbing their bags out of the trunk.  He walked around the car to smile at his mother as she hugged Samantha.  “Hi, Mom,” he said. 

Margaret quickly turned to him pulling him into a quick embrace.  She ushered them into the house telling him to take the bags upstairs.  She led Samantha into the kitchen sitting her down at the table.  “So, Nick wanted to have the wedding as soon as possible.  We set up a small ceremony for Friday evening at six.  I figured that the day after tomorrow we can go shopping for your dress.  Most of the arrangements have been taken care of, but I don’t want you to feel like your mother-in-law is already taking over.  If you want to change anything, you just let me know.  After all, it’s your wedding,” she rambled on. 

Samantha took a deep breath feeling a little overwhelmed.  Everything was moving so fast.  “Thank you,” she managed to say. 

“Nick told me what happened to your family.  I’m so sorry,” she offered patting Samantha’s hand.  “I want you to think of us as your family now.  Anything you need, we will be there.” 

Her heart almost broke.  For years, she had longed for a family.  Now, she had one, even if it was for all the wrong reasons.  Tears began to slide down her cheeks, and she reached up to wipe them away with the back of her hand.  “I’m sorry,” she replied.  “I seem to be crying all the time these days.” 

Margaret got up to get a Kleenex before returning to the table.  She handed it to Samantha, concern evident in her eyes.  “How have you been feeling, dear?” 

Samantha quickly wiped the tears from her face feeling ridiculous.  She looked into the other woman’s eyes wondering if she knew the true reason for their speedy decision to marry.  “I’m okay,” she answered a little too quickly. 

Margaret placed her hand on top of Samantha’s.  “Nick told us about the baby,” she explained. 

She looked away not wanting the other woman to see the shame she could not hide.  So, everybody knew that Nick had to marry her.  That was just wonderful!  Humiliation overcame her. 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  I think it’s the best thing that could’ve happened.” 

Her statement made Samantha’s head snap up, her eyes widening.  “What?”  Margaret laughed.  “It was obvious when you were here before that you two had feelings for each other.  You both just needed a little push, that’s all.  Sometimes, God has a way of simplifying things.” 

She couldn’t believe her ears.  Had they really been so transparent?  “Well, that’s enough serious talk for one day,” she admitted, getting up and walking her out to the staircase.  “Why don’t you go up and get settled?” 

She climbed the stairs in a daze.  Tomorrow, she would be Mrs. Nick Daniels.  Somehow, the thought hadn’t become a reality.  She walked across the hall to Nick’s room.  The door was open.  She walked into the room collapsing on his bed.  She curled up into a ball inhaling his scent.  She felt like her whole world had become a merry go round that she couldn’t get off of. Tomorrow, she would become his wife.  The thought should’ve made her happy, but it didn’t.  She placed her hand protectively over her stomach thinking of the child that lay snugly nestled inside her womb.  She had to think of the baby’s happiness now, and try to forget her own heartbreak. 

Nick stood in his father’s study staring out the window.  She had barely said two words to him on the drive up here.  Her unhappiness was evident, and it drove a knife into his heart.  There had been a time when marrying him had been what she wanted, but now it was a thought that she dreaded.  That fact hurt him more than he wanted to admit. 

Thomas sat at his desk staring curiously at his son’s stiff back.  The muscles in his neck were corded together so tightly that he couldn’t help but worry that they might snap.  “Derek will be here early tomorrow morning,” he said, in an attempt to break the tension. 

His son shrugged his shoulders at his comment, as if it held no interest for him.  “I made an appointment for the day after tomorrow in the afternoon to get our tuxedos tailored.” 

His second attempt to pull his son out of the daze he was in seemed to have little to no effect.  Nothing seemed to be working as he watched him stare sightlessly into the night casually taking sips of scotch.  Finally, he could skirt the subject no longer.  “What is it, son?” he asked. 

Nick casually turned around at his question trying to keep his face from revealing his emotions.  “What?” 

Thomas leaned back in his chair studying his eldest son.  “What is it that’s eating at you?” 

He walked over taking a seat in the leather chair that sat in front of his father’s massive mahogany desk.  “What could possibly be wrong?” he replied, trying to sound convincing. 

His father’s eyes narrowed.  “Are you nervous about the wedding?” 

He laughed.  “No, I’m not nervous,” he answered, willing his father to let the subject drop. 

“Then, what is it?  Is it Samantha?  Is she unhappy about the pregnancy?”

He thought about his father’s question as he swirled the liquor in his glass.  “I don’t know,” he answered honestly.  It was the truth.  He wasn’t sure if she was unhappy about the pregnancy or her soon-to-be husband.  Husband?  It wasn’t a word Nick would have thought he would be saying any time soon a couple of months ago.  But, soon, that was exactly what he would be.  He just wished his bride was excited about the prospect.

To tell the truth, he wasn’t sure how she felt about anything anymore.  The baby, the wedding, and especially him.  Right now, he desperately wished that he could turn back the clock to a time when he had been sure of her, a time when she had loved him.  But those days were gone.  He had sealed their fate long ago.  Now, when she looked at him, her gaze was blank.  For Christ’s sake, she hadn’t even told him about the baby, a fact that he still hadn’t fully forgiven her for. 

“Well, it’s not too late, you know,” his father interrupted his thoughts by saying. 

“For what?” he asked. 

His father looked uneasy as he continued, “Well, if you’re both not happy there are always other solutions.  You don’t have to get married to be a father to your child.” 

His head jerked up sharply.  “Yes, I do.  I will not cheat my child out of having a family.  Whether Sam likes it or not, we will be man and wife when this baby is born,” he explained in a firm tone. 

His father shook his head in agreement sensing that the conversation had just been effectively closed.  When he left his father’s study later that night, he made his way down the hall to his room.  He was exhausted.  Luckily, his mother had taken over most of the preparations for the wedding.  He couldn’t thank her enough for her help with the whole affair.  After all, he felt ridiculous picking out colors for the flowers.  He knew nothing about bouquets or centerpieces. 

He opened his door to reveal her snuggled in his bed.  She was curled up on one side her face buried in his pillow.  He couldn’t help but smile at the picture she made.  He walked around to the other side of the bed wondering if he should sleep in the guest room.  They hadn’t made love since the night of his mother’s birthday party, and he had to battle with himself nightly to keep it that way.  Staying in her apartment had been a lesson in torture.  Just knowing that she was in the next room had kept him awake all night. 

Still, it was time that she understood that they would soon be married.  He wasn’t about to spend the rest of his nights in a spare bedroom.  He slipped out of his clothes as quietly as possible.  Then, he slowly undressed her.  She sighed as he slid her jeans down her legs.  When she was clad in nothing more than her tshirt and underwear, he climbed into bed pulling the covers over them both.  His arm instinctively went around her gathering her against his side.

She moaned, a grin teasing the corners of her mouth as her arms went around him.  She rubbed her cheek against his chest and he could feel his erection stir under the covers.  He stared down at her.  Her eyes still closed, she smiled contentedly.  It was ironic that only in sleep would she allow him this liberty.  Soon, however, all that would change.  Soon, she would become his wife, and he would be free of this self-imposed restraint that was tearing him to pieces. 

She awoke in the middle of the night feeling oddly refreshed.  Her eyes slowly fluttered open to reveal him at her side.  His arm was slung around her waist in a protective gesture imprisoning her against him.  He had obviously slipped into bed without awakening her.    And he was here with her.  He stirred beside her, and she tried to regulate her breathing.  He kissed the top of her head, before settling back into a deep sleep and leaving her to wonder at the tender motion. 

How would she ever be able to live with this man knowing that he didn’t truly love her? 

Just being with him these last few days with that knowledge had nearly killed her. 

Could she really be with him knowing that he would’ve chosen another life? 

Stay Tuned for more of Lake of Lies…

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: